I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
