I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
