Acid is not a monday night drug
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
