i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
