great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
