Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
