You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
