Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
