Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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