We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
