I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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