Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
