Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
