honey bunches of taint.
zippers are such a cool invention
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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