What a fucking waste of an outfit
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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