Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
tell me about the fingering
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