my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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