Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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