Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
