If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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