with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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