awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
