You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
