i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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