Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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