...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
