Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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