I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
