It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Pooping to opera.
Randomize