we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
that is very illegal...i love you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
