its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize