Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
