At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
