Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Randomize
