i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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