How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
