I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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