this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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