Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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