I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
