You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well I just put wine in my tea
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
