Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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