Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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