If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just had sex on a roof
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
