I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
