Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
