You're so nebulous sometimes
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
