Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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