I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize