Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
