you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
