i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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