Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
