I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize