He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
