im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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