I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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