DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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