Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
