I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
