i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
