I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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