My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
