Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
