I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize