I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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