I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
