And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
