talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
