i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize